


[FIC] Beating About The Bush

by mortmere



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Sex in a Car
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:40:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25227709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mortmere/pseuds/mortmere
Summary: They're on their way to work. Hutch forgot something and refuses to tell Starsky what is the matter.
Relationships: Ken Hutchinson/David Starsky
Comments: 26
Kudos: 46
Collections: Musings from the Starsky/Hutch Original Bromance Facebook ship slash group





	[FIC] Beating About The Bush

**Author's Note:**

> This was written quickly (by my standards) and it's unbetaed, so all potentially funny or perhaps incomprehensible mistakes are mine. Also, it's the first even slightly longer piece of fiction that I've completed in, uh, fifteen years, and the first one in English. I think I really just wanted it out of my hands before I die of embarrassment, but I really wanted to publish it, too, because the prompt that inspired it was so absurd and funny that it deserves so many fics. xD You'll find the prompt in the end notes.

“I can’t fucking believe this,” Hutch muttered and shifted uncomfortably on the passenger seat. Starsky glanced at his grouchy partner before changing lanes to get away from the highway.

“What is it, buddy?”

“I just forgot something… You know, you were so early today, you kinda surprised me… Uh, I - ”

Starsky raised an eyebrow, then saw that Hutch was blushing fiercely. Was this finally it? It hadn’t been the first time he’d arrived early, but this time his arrival hadn’t been stealthy enough to ignore. Of course, he had slid the Torino to the empty lot as quietly as he could - he’d done that many times without Hutch reacting to the sound of the car - but then he’d plain forgotten that board on the porch that squealed like a tortured cat. So he’d walked right inside instead of leaning on the wall by the open bathroom window where he could usually hear Hutch go through his morning routine. That routine had been interrupted today, way too early.

“You forgot what?” Starsky decided to play dumb. “Brush your teeth?”

“No, mushbrain. Forget that I said anything. I was just thinking aloud.”

“We can still turn around - I was early, so we’re not in any hurry.”

“No, no, it’s nothing important.”

“You sure?” Starsky glanced at Hutch’s hands - large hands, fiddling with the hem of the leather jacket, conveniently covering his crotch. If nothing else happened, getting Hutch to blush more might be fun. He could use the exercise at the art of Blintz-baiting. He’d been too careful around his partner for these last few weeks - it felt like they had been stalling. “Look, we’re going on a stake-out - if you’re going to be grumpy as hell because of this thing you forgot, I’d say it’s important. Was it something like yoga? Stretching? Breathing exercises? We can stop and you can do it right there in one of those fields by this road. Lotsa fresh air, soft grass, birds singing, flowers nodding...”

“Starsky, forget it, it’s nothing!” Hutch was still red in the face, but the sweet blush was now turning into an angrier shade of red, and Starsky was expecting to get the Finger any moment now. He could take that.

“Come on, partner, doesn’t sound like it’s nothing. What could you have forgotten? You smell clean enough, you have your pants and a shirt on, and your gun, and I saw you take your badge and your wallet, and you even packed lunch and coffee for both of us, which was really nice of you - so what is it?” Starsky took a breath, gauging Hutch’s level of irritation. “Did you forget to turn off the water? Put the milk away? Say bye-bye to the plants? Beat your meat?” 

Hutch’s head-shaking and frustrated groans turned into a brief but freezing silence before an icy “What did you say?” cut the air.

“I asked you, did you by any chance forget to masturbate this morning? I’ve heard you often enough at it when I’ve arrived a bit too early. Sorry about that, but maybe you should do it first thing after you wake up and not leave it until the last minute. Works better that way, believe me.”

Hutch was sputtering now. “You’re saying that you’ve listened to me..?”

“So I take it that’s a yes?”

“Okay, yes, Starsky, I forgot to beat my meat, as you so eloquently put it. And believe it or not, I can actually go a full day, or even several days, without doing it, so just forget this stupid conversation.” 

There was the Finger, left hand to get the point better across to Starsky. Was it a challenge, or should he back out of this? To hell with it - he might have gone far enough already to make the stake-out a miserable one unless they sorted this out once and for all. Starsky looked ahead on the country road they were on now, then picked his most sympathetic tone, though he knew it would probably only aggravate Hutch. 

“Buddy, we’re going to spend the entire day in this lovely car, staring at an exciting abandoned warehouse, and it’d be so much better if you, too, were clear-headed and relaxed. Jerking off before a long stake-out helps me focus. I’ve taken care of that, so don’t you go blushing about it like some teenager. We still have a fifteen-minute drive and you know we’re early anyway, so go ahead. Just use this,” Starsky pulled a paper handkerchief from his jacket pocket and flapped it in front of Hutch’s face, “so you don’t get any jizz on my seats.”

“You can’t be serious.” Hutch snapped the paper from his hand. “You can’t seriously suggest I pull my cock out in the middle of the road and make a spectacle of myself?” 

“It’s a nice, quiet country road, and what alternatives do you have? Ha, look!” Starsky pointed to the right, across a dry-looking field. There happened to be a convenient side road ahead. It looked like it had fallen out of use, and the bushes and small trees at the crossroads would provide a slightly more private spot for whatever was going to happen next. This wasn’t exactly the way he’d intended this to go, but from the look of it, it was at least going to be memorable. He looked around him and, satisfied with the surroundings, killed the engine. “Is this better?”

Hutch had both his hands over his face. “You’re insane.”

“How so?”

“You can’t expect me to do it with you sitting there? What are you going to do, read the morning paper?”

“I can step outside if you want to, though I don’t see why. Hutch, I said I’ve heard you... I know you’ve been - ”

Hutch scrambled out of the car before Starsky could say another word.

“I know you’ve been thinking of me, babe,” he completed his sentence and looked at Hutch’s back. Starsky decided to give him a minute, though he was sincerely puzzled by this reaction. The tall, proud figure striding away from the car along the grassy road was running out of steam quickly. It looked like the road lead nowhere in particular. Hutch was wiping his face. Was he crying? Was he so mortified that it was his partner’s name that he’d sighed during those last minute morning preparations in his bathroom in the past few weeks? Hearing Hutch say his name the first time had nearly broken Starsky’s heart, he’d sounded so lonely and unhappy. How long had they known each other? How long had they both felt like this and not spent that time openly loving each other in all the ways they could? Starsky thought they had been nearly on the same page - he had even wondered if Hutch had left the bathroom window open on purpose, wondered if Hutch only pretended he hadn’t heard his car… But maybe he had been genuinely unaware of Starsky’s presence after all. Starsky himself had just been waiting for an opening to bring this matter up in a friendly way, some suitable moment to finally come together - the pun very much intended. Starsky laid his forearms on the top of the steering wheel and stared at his partner. Sun was gleaming on his golden hair. Finally Hutch glanced at his watch, then turned around slowly and walked back, avoiding looking at Starsky’s direction. 

“So, you know,” Hutch said, back where he belonged. 

Starsky reached his hand out and touched the slightly sweaty curls at the back of Hutch’s neck. Hutch seemed to shiver. Fuck, it started to feel like Starsky’s own morning ritual might not be enough to keep him focused through the stake-out.

“I thought maybe you meant me to hear you, babe,” Starsky said. “But it’s okay - I’m here now, and we still have time to get you… well, relaxed and focused, and then we have a whole day to analyze what all of this means to us, if that’s what you need. Whatever you need, partner.”

A car swooshed past behind them on the main road, raising dust. Hutch turned his head to look over his shoulder, and Starsky took the opportunity to slide his hand to Hutch’s cheek. Hutch didn’t withdraw, though his blue eyes had a scared look when they locked with Starsky’s.

“I never… Oh, Starsk, I’m so sorry.”

“Shush - nothing to be sorry about,” Starsky said and leaned in to kiss those lips he had dreamed of in the early hours of the morning while jerking off. This kiss was just a question, but Hutch didn’t resist, no, he kissed him back, and Starsky had never felt anything so right. He reached his left hand to the front of Hutch’s jeans - the bulge that Hutch had apparently tried to keep down since they hit the road bloomed to new life. “You want me to jerk you off or suck you?”

There it was again, the blush. Only this time it wasn’t embarrassment, it was all desire and anticipation, and the dilated, intense eyes were far from scared. Oh boy, Blondie could do an about-face in a matter of seconds.

“Why haven't we done this before?” Hutch rasped in wonder, taking Starsky’s head in his hands and plundering his mouth so thoroughly that Starsky nearly lost his target. No, there wasn’t any time to lose now. He reached for the belt, fumbled its end through the buckle, ripped the snap of the jeans open and slid the zipper carefully down. Squeezing a hand inside the white underpants and cupping the warm, heavy balls, he repeated his own question against Hutch’s mouth. He felt Hutch’s cock twitch where it was resting against his wrist. 

“Just do something!” Hutch was pulling away, leaning back, closing his eyes, panting a little. Starsky pushed the underwear out of the way while Hutch tried to wriggle his jeans down just enough to make it more comfortable for both. Starsky took one good look at the body that so uninhibitedly now begged for his touch, then licked his thumb and slid it slowly under the head of Hutch’s cock that had fully emerged from its foreskin. The whimper his move elicited made Starsky’s insides tingle and his cock throb in the confines of his jeans. He smoothed the bead of moisture from the slit around the reddened flesh, dragged the tips of his fingers once more over Hutch’s balls and grabbed the thick shaft into a firm grip, feeling for the unfamiliar movement of the foreskin. Then he put his tongue to far better use than annoying his partner.

Hutch’s fingers pushed into Starsky’s hair, helping him find a pleasurable rhythm and depth. Starsky slid his other hand behind Hutch’s butt, tempted to grab a handful but mostly needing to prop himself on the seat for balance and control. It had been years since he’d done this, but it came back to him quickly. And it felt like Hutch was going to come quickly, but that wasn’t exactly a surprise. Savoring Hutch’s taste as he swirled his tongue around the glans a few more times, Starsky made a last minute decision to release the cock from his mouth in spite of Hutch’s hand still pressing his head down. Starsky bit his lower lip and kept his hand steadily at work, and Hutch brought his right hand to keep it company. He watched Hutch’s face scrunch into an expression of reckless pleasure and cherished the already familiar but now so much more joyous “Oh, Starsky - Starsky!” that burst from Hutch’s lips as he reached his climax and shot a fountain of white into the air.

There goes my good leather seat, Starsky thought, picked the tissue from the floor and cleaned up the mess from the seat between Hutch’s legs and from the jeans encasing those long thighs. Then he bent down once more to lick away the droplets that had fallen all over Hutch’s crotch and were dripping slowly deeper into the dark gold curls and down the softening penis. Starsky pulled the foreskin back a bit and tenderly licked the over-sensitive head clean before letting it withdraw back to its cover. Hutch squirmed and whimpered in protest, but grabbed Starsky’s wrist and brought their joined hands to his lips and kissed away the spots of semen there, then just kissed Starsky’s fingers. 

“I think we have a minute or two to spare before we need to get going,” Hutch laughed, still out of breath. “Come here, buddy,” he coaxed, reaching for Starsky’s shoulder, and Starsky didn’t think twice - he hugged his partner as tight as he was being hugged himself and nuzzled the sweaty neck for a moment, listening to Hutch breathing, enjoying his scent. 

“It’s sure going to be an interesting stake-out,” said Hutch, finding Starsky’s lips with his own and sharing a sloppy kiss. His face was flushed, almost glowing. “I’ll be so clear-headed and relaxed, but I’m a bit worried about how you’re doing.”

“Don’t you worry about me. I didn’t forget to beat my meat earlier, like some poor Blintz here, so I’ll be fine,” Starsky chuckled. He pulled reluctantly away from Hutch’s arms and looked around, adjusting his pants and stretching his shoulders. They sure hadn’t been thinking straight - there was a woman walking a dog in the field on the other side of the road, and suddenly several cars roared past them. Starsky turned the key in the ignition, cursing the vibration from the engine that went right into his groin. He really wouldn’t have minded his share of the fun right now, but there was no time, so he’d just have to enjoy the anticipation - of what? Would Hutch want to be fucked? Starsky laughed at the instinctive moan that was about to rise from his throat at the mere thought of his partner’s lush ass presented to him, the vision of his own cock slowly disappearing between the white buttocks. He could’ve bet Hutch was a total virgin there, though who knew - sometimes the man seemed so experienced and liberated, sometimes so easily embarrassed and innocent. But if it was a matter of trusting and really knowing his sexual partner, Hutch would have no problems with Starsky. They could talk about the less explored facets of their pasts once they had settled to their stake-out spot for today. They’d probably revert to joking at first, but they’d get there, and hopefully forward. Thank goodness it was a cool day - it was going to get hot in the car. 

Starsky propped his hand on the back of the passenger seat to look behind them as he backed the Torino up to the main road. His partner was finishing buckling his belt and stuffing his shirt tails back into his jeans, smiling to himself. Though it wasn’t new, the wave of tenderness and love he felt for that man beside him shocked Starsky for a moment. He nudged Hutch’s shoulder. 

“Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”

Starsky opened his mouth, but no words came out. He stroked Hutch’s jaw with the back of his index finger and nearly choked seeing his fierce love reflected in Hutch’s gaze. We lucky bastards, he thought, what did we do to deserve each other? 

“Nothing. And everything. Let's get going.”

Then Starsky hit the gas to get them to their destination.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a prompt in the S/H bRomance group on Facebook. The prompt was a funny comment from a contestant in Worst Cooks in America: "I forgot to beat my meat!"


End file.
